Fuckin' Sri Fuckin' Lanka!!!

As you all know from one of my previous posts, Sri Lanka ROCKS!
We went back there last weekend and did nothing but drink booze, swim in the Indian ocean, drink booze, eat kickass seafood, and drink booze. OK so more accurately I should say that Heather swam in the Indian Ocean, and I ate seafood and drank. Did I mention the swim-up bar? I am puting one into our apartment when we get back to San Francisco. I suppose some of you would argue that puting a cooler of Coors Light Tall Boys next to the bath tub is not really a swim up bar. To you naysayers I say don't knock it 'till you've tried it.

Brian kept asking the bartender for more ice in his pina coladas. This makes a pina colada a lesser drink in my opinion. But then he asked the bartender to throw in a banana. Now, a banana in a pina colada makes it just plain old better. I had more than a few.

As we were driving in to the hotel our driver Hami told us to watch out for the rickshaw drivers who were hustlers. He then gave us a cryptic warning that even after I deciphered it I had trouble taking seriously. "Don't trust the Beach Boys," he said. "They are poisonous like the sea-snake."
I laughed, but I had no idea what he would have against the Beach Boys. Brian Wilson may be a little strange, but I would never think of him as dangerous. And besides, what the hell were the Beach Boys doing in Sri Lanka? I thought they broke up decades ago. Were they now hiring themselves out a s hitmen? I imagined some poor schmuck who owed the wrong people money being beaten with a surfboard as "California Girls" blared over a juke box.
Later that day as we shuffled down to the beach in our flip flops, keeping a wary ear out for "Good Vibrations" or "Cocomo", one of the hotel staff told us to be sure to talk to the Beach Boys if we wanted to rent a surfboard. He pointed down towards a group of slackers, most of whom were napping in the snad under a cluster of palms. Propped against the trees were a motley assortment of surfboards and boogie boards.
I was releived not only that I wouldn't have to watch my back for Brian Wilson, but that even if these guys had intended us harm, they had long ago smoked enough weed to render them harmless. I was much more relaxed after that was sorted out.

I never realized how much I missed the ocean. You can eat pretty much anything moving in it, it lulls you to sleep at night, and it's one of those things you can just sit in front of without feeling unproductive. If you were to walk up to a bank, take your shoes off, sit down and just watch it, people might find you more than just a little strange, but more importantly you would just feel like you were wasting your time. It's the same with a tree or a parked car. After about five seconds of staring at any of these things, you need to move on. But with the ocean, you could just sit there all day, doing nothing and no one would think you're crazy, and you can say to yourself afterwards, "Now that was time well spent."
I defy you to say that to yourself after staring at a parked Honda Civic for a half an hour.

The sunsets were gorgeous, the water was warm, and those Sri Lankans are some friendly sonsabitches. We swam in the ocean for hours on end and on Saturday and Sunday we stayed out in the surf until it got dark. It was great watching the light fade around us and pretty soon the night blended with the ocean and you could just feel the waves toss you around as you swam to shore guided only by the lights of the hotel behind the beach.

It was a great trip.